Insurance Write-Offs: Cheap Cars, Terrible Ideas, and the Odd Miracle

So, here’s the thing: when an insurer writes off a car, it doesn’t always mean it’s been folded in half like a deckchair in a hurricane. Sometimes it’s just a dented bumper. Other times it’s a fireball worthy of a Fast & Furious sequel. But instead of explaining this in plain English, the industry has come up with a set of mysterious codes: Cat N, Cat S, Cat A, Cat B. To the uninitiated, they look like entries on a Pokémon card. In reality, they’re the difference between a cheeky bargain and spending the rest of your life on first-name terms with your local tow truck driver.

Cat N: The “It’s Just a Scratch” One

Cat N means non-structural damage. In other words: the car’s spine is fine, but everything else has had a bad day. Doors, bumpers, lights, electrics — all of it might have been rearranged by a lamppost.

Insurers looked at it and said, “Too much effort,” and shoved it off their books. Which means someone’s patched it up and now it’s back on the market.

Sometimes it’s flawless. Sometimes it’s held together with duct tape and blind optimism. Buy a dodgy Cat N, and you’ll discover very quickly why it was so cheap — usually when the headlights fall out while you’re overtaking a bus.

Cat S: The “Bendy but Mended” One

This is where things get serious. The “S” stands for structural damage. Chassis, suspension mounts, crumple zones — all the important bits you don’t want compromised.

Yes, it can be repaired. Yes, it can go back on the road. But only if the repairs have been done properly. Which, in the used car market, is about as reliable as a politician’s promise.

Buying a Cat S is like buying a parachute from eBay. It might work.

Cat A: The “Just Burn It” One

Cat A cars are finished. Done. Dead. They’ve either been in a fire, drowned, or obliterated into a shape that looks less like a car and more like modern art.

They are banned from returning to the road. In fact, they’re banned from being used for anything. Not even the wheels can be recycled. Straight to the crusher.

If Cat A cars were a film character, they’d be Sean Bean. Dead before you’ve finished your popcorn.

Cat B: The “Organ Donor” One

Cat B is marginally less catastrophic. These cars can’t go back on the road, but their parts can. Engines, gearboxes, interiors — all harvested to keep other cars alive.

The car itself? Condemned. It’s Frankenstein’s spares bin.

So, Should You Buy One?

• Cat N: Possibly. If the repairs are good, you can get a bargain. If not, you’ve just bought a wheelie bin with Bluetooth.

• Cat S: Maybe, but only if you’ve got nerves of steel and a very good mechanic.

• Cat A & Cat B: No. Just… no. Unless your idea of fun is owning several tons of immovable scrap metal.

  
  

Final Word

Cat N and Cat S can, occasionally, be worth it. But remember: insurers don’t write cars off for sport. They do it because, at some point, someone decided this vehicle was a financial black hole.

So yes — buy one if you’re feeling brave. But don’t be surprised if that “bargain BMW” ends up costing more to keep alive than a medieval king’s falconry hobby.